AP parents believe that crying unattended leads to higher cortisol levels, anxiety, distrust, weight loss and general failure to thrive. When a small child or baby cries you should answer that cry. They believe that nursing and co-sleeping should continue into toddler hood. That most importantly we should treat our children with love and respect.
I believe in this wholeheartedly. When my daughter screamed incessantly as an infant in pain from her food protein allergies and reflux I cuddled her close and did my best to let her know that she wasn't alone in teh cruel world. When she was p for the 11th time that night to nurse I may have grumbled a bit but I did it because it's what she needed. When she was toddler and cried and screamed when she couldn't have a cookie I held her and let her know that it's ok to be mad.
However, at almost 5 years old I draw the line at her kicking, hitting, screaming, and generally disrespecting me is when I draw the line. Some days I feel as if we could be on the television show Supernanny.
I do not think that breastfeeding on demand, cuddling her, and co-sleeping with her led to this behavior. I believe that the lack of discipline led to this behavior. For some reason AP parents don't like that word. Like everyone who disciplines their child is beating them, breaking them, and doing something to cause their child to act out. (This is where I insert eye roll.)
Life isn't all roses and glitter. There are consequences for our actions - both good and bad. When a child is told that they cannot have a cookie and they scream bloody murder they can take their loud butt to their room. When they hit you they can very well sit in time out, one minute per age.
When children are allowed to hit a parent and there are no consequences what are you teaching them? That it's ok to hit. It's ok to throw a fit every time they do not get their way.
Parenting takes repitition, I do not deny that. You start with small kids by redirecting them away from climbing on the shelf, telling them it's not safe, you repeat this over and over again. But when child is almost 5 years old she knows she does not belong on the shelf. It's ok to discipline her. By disciplining her it teaches her that she is not allowed to get into dangerous situations, she needs to respect her mother so she will be kept safe, and like all things in life: there are rules and you have to follow them.
Natural consequences are cleaning up after your mess, nobody wants to play with someone who doesn't share, that children who scream can go to their rooms to do it, etc.
A few years ago this was still AP. These days it's corporal punishment and AP'ers are letting their children do whatever they wish. If you send your child to their room or sit them in time out then you are sentencing them to a long prison sentence. (Insert another eye roll.)
So I suppose I am no longer AP. I will continue to be a natural parent though. I will continue to follow my instincts and respect my child. In time I hope that our new discipline techniques will teach her that she can't do whatever she wants in life. My desire is for her to be a contributing member of society who can function on their own and knows that there are laws and regulations that everyone must follow.
No comments:
Post a Comment